Navigating Preschool

Navigating preschool is hard. And sometimes makes me worried about dealing with issues in elementary school.

But, I remind myself that I should be thankful that I am the one at home getting to hear these stories when Jacob gets in the car after school. Sometimes, if you don't hear them immediately, the kids will lose their sense of urgency in telling you their stories. And then, I would be missing out on some great, teachable moments with Jacob.

Some kids like to pick on other kids. Some kids like to pinch. And some kids are wonderful friends for your son. Some kids help bring out the best.

And this year, I find myself talking with Jacob a lot about how to choose his friends, and how to deal with situations that are difficult for a four-year-old to understand. That sometimes, a friend isn't really a friend if they hurt you all the time. And sometimes, you need to pick friends who will bring out the best in you - who are good students, listen to the teachers, and want to be nice to you.

Most of all, regardless of what other people do, I am teaching Jacob that he is in charge of himself. Always. No one can tell him what to do or how to act, what to think and how to play. And hopefully, this becomes a habit for him that he carries with him in future friendships. That Jacob can think for himself and make his own decisions. Just because another boy thinks something is funny doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. And, just because someone else tells you to do something doesn't mean you should do it.

I can see Jacob brighten up with more knowledge about friendships and how to deal with situations at school. He is already struggling with not wanting to tell the teacher about something because he doesn't want his friend to get in trouble. I am glad he is compassionate towards his friends, but pray he finds a balance between not wanting his friends in trouble, and avoiding becoming a target for kids who do mean things to others. I don't want someone to pinch him because they know he won't tell. I don't want someone to say mean things to him just because he won't get them in trouble.

Friendships are hard to navigate, even in preschool. I am thankful for the great friends Jacob has made. And, in a way, I'm thankful for these difficult lessons he is learning. At least right now, the consequences are minor. Being pinched when the teacher isn't looking isn't as bad as what he could come across in elementary or middle school. But, these smaller situations will give him an opportunity to learn to stand up for himself and know how to handle the bigger situations when they arise. I wish I could keep him in a bubble forever, but since that's not possible, I'm thankful that I can be here to guide him through the tough times and talk with him about finding a solution that works best for him. Teaching him how to handle friends and teachers is so important, and I am so thankful I am home with him after preschool to hear what he has to say and what he is thinking.

Jacob has brought a lot of prayer into this house. I am thankful for his praying heart, and his wise words. The end of his prayer before nap today said, "and thank you Lord for the little boys in my class, and I pray you help them learn and be friends." He is so sweet, and I am so glad to have a son who can pray openly with me about problems he is having and lead me to be a better mom and encourage him to pray whenever he wants to. During his prayer, he said the wrong name for one of his friends. Afterwards, he said, "does God know when I say something wrong, and he can still know I'm thankful for my friend XXX?" When I told him yes, that God knows what he meant, he smiled and closed his eyes to take his nap. I love how safe he looked, and how he truly knows in his heart that he is being watched over and taken care of.