In my nesting-mode of this pregnancy, and lately I seem to only be focusing on the things I am not getting done and might not get done before Joshua is here. It has been driving me crazy, until I sat down tonight and realized how much I actually am getting done...just nothing I can check off a list.
I have not washed baby clothes yet. Jacob's were already packed neatly in drawers and hung up in the closet in their matching sets. Josh's are still in a big heap in his soon-to-be-closet (which is also a back-up closet for some of Bob's clothes, where our extra bags, random appliances, games, and crap is stored). The clothes we pulled down from leftovers of Jacob's are still in the tub in Josh's room waiting to be washed.
I realized instead, I have accomplished getting Jacob prepared for his brother's arrival. I do enough laundry anyway - if Josh was born tomorrow I'm sure he'd come home in clean clothes, and I'd have enough time to do one load of laundry before he spit-up on his outfit. But, preparing Jacob for this change in his life is more important right now, and seeing him so excited to fill a bag with brand new rattles and toys for his baby brother was much more important this morning.
I have not mopped our floors in who knows how long. I vacuum and sweep and all that...but I despise mopping. It hasn't been done in an very long time. Instead, I have successfully baked muffins with Jacob. I have sat down with Jacob at practically every meal (breakfast, lunch and dinner) since he has been born and taught him how to sit at the table, eat right, and not play with his food. He LOVES meal time for the most part, and we never have an issue with him not wanting to eat, or sit at the table. I love meals now because Jacob will come into the kitchen and sit and talk with me over our meal. Such a special time with us, and the slightly dirty floor under his feet doesn't seem to bother him while we are chatting away during lunch.
I haven't toured the preschool I wanted to before Josh was born. I have, however, sat down and given Jacob undivided attention where I don't even glance at my phone because I know it won't be long before I feel pulled in different directions and can't spoil him rotten with my time. The past few days we have been on the floor for hours playing Little People, cars, trains, coloring, etc. Even though sitting on the floor that long is extremely uncomfortable right now at over 35 weeks pregnant, I am so thankful that we are spending this time together. I know having Josh here will be so wonderful, but I also love being able to focus on only one set of needs right now and enjoying the last few weeks of our time before infant needs are in the routine. Jacob will be such a wonderful big brother, and I think he deserves some extra attention right now.
Mostly, tonight I just wanted to remind myself that everything will eventually get done. My house might not be spotless, my to-do list might never get shorter, and there just might still be a rake in our front yard underneath the snow. But, Jacob and Josh are loved more than anything. We have amazing memories we are building together. Sometimes Play-doh is more important than running the dishwasher. Sometimes reading books for an hour on my bed with Jacob is more important than throwing in another load of laundry. And always, my kids knowing they are loved and that I hear what they are telling me is more important than a magazine-cover-ready home.
Josh...we are so excited for you to join in our routines, make new ones, and fill our lives with joy and happiness. I can't wait to hold you and see Jacob give you kisses. I can't wait to have our family together and to spend my days with you.
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